I Had to

I never feel more given to, then when you take from me.

My giving isn’t done to put you in my debts,

But because I want to live the love, that I feel for you.

When you give to me I give you my receiving; there is no way I can separate the two.

To receive with grace may be the greatest giving,

And when you take from me, I feel so given to.


 This short song by R. Bebemeyer is a delighful one portraying “Natural Giving.”

We all know this giving, we all know how to do it. But we also know that it's something  very rare.

Instead of  people enjoying that innate quality of sincere giving which is possible in every moment, in every contact that we have, how precious this may be, we restrain from it.

The way we give is a very strange way of giving. It's what I call the “Have to” approach. We do numerous things because we believe we have to.

And the reason we think we "have to" is because we make up excuses:

"Superior’s orders", "Company Policy", “They made me do it,” “I couldn’t do otherwise,” “I needed to protect you”, "It's family"

So often we do things, because we “Have To” and not because we “Want To". We strongly believe that we have No choice.

Sometimes when I don’t want to do something, I hear my mother’s voice in my head:

“There are somethings you HAVE to do whether you like it or not, and it is my job as a parent to teach you what you HAVE to do.” 

But when we teach our children that we “Have” to do certain things, because of authority, punishment, rewards, approval, we learn to do things automaticcaly and unnaturally.

This often means that we don't Give Sincerely, we don't Talk Sincerely, we don't Act Sincerely, Hell! We don't even smile sincerely!

In our society we fail to see that any unnatural and insincere giving, where we put on fake smiles, pretend we like each other and give because we have to and not because we want to is no benefit to anyone. This is not what we were designed for. This is not what our hearts are designed for.

We were designed to enjoy giving and to give naturally.

You see anything we do in our lives that is not coming from this energy, is something that does not serve others and does not serve us.

The more tightly we hold on to the believe that we HAVE to do certain things, the more we will suffer and the more the people around us will suffer.

The Moment you Decide to give from your heart and by giving I mean Sharing your Time, Sharing your knowledge, Giving your "love", Giving your services,

Giving You…

You will never again Say

" I had to "





Author: Roshni Jagroep

Roshni Jagroep5 Comments