“Listen to your heart,” is what I told her when she asked me whether she should stay or leave…?
“Listen to my heart? Really? That’s your advice?” She replied.
I paused… I certainly did not expect that reaction.
She went on…
"What does that even mean? Did you ever listen? Do you even know how? “
She’s right I thought…I don’t. I know I’ve tried…
Up until recently I often tried to listen, I’d sit and try to be quiet, try to breathe and focus on my breath and listen. And then listen more carefully…
But my heart never spoke…
I thought to myself; this is crazy… People do listen to their heart? Don’t they?
I quickly did some research and guess what?
Speech is something which is controlled by our brains, a part of our brain called the “Neocortex.” This is also the part which controls our thinking and rational decision making.
So what does the heart do?
Well, there is another part of our brain, called “The limbic system.” This part is responsible for all of our feelings such as trust and loyalty, it is also responsible for our human behavior and our decision making, but it has no capacity for language.
This is the disconnection that makes putting our feelings into words so hard. This is why when we love someone deeply it is so hard for us to put it into words... We say crazy things like “I love him because he completes me.” But really, what does that even mean?
Our language part of the brain (the neocortex) tries to rationalize how we feel. However, the feelings coming from the “limbic system” are very hard to put into words.
When a decision feels right, we have a hard time explaining why we did what we did. It’s not that we don’t know. It’s that why we do what we do come from different parts of our brain.
This is where the term “gut decisions” come from. “They just feel right”.
Funny thing is, no part in our gut, belly or stomach is making any decisions.
The reason why we say it “Feels” right is that the limbic part of the brain is responsible for our feelings and signaling these feelings throughout our body.
No matter which part of your body you refer to which helps you make your decision. Feelings in your heart in your stomach, your gut. It’s all controlled by the limbic system.
So rather than “listening” to what our hearts have to say. I believe that we should not focus on words… but try to focus on our feelings…
What do you feel? Does it feel good? Does it feel bad?
Let your feelings guide you…Rather than your words.
Because sometimes words and language are just not worthy of our divine heartfelt feelings.
Author: Roshni Jagroep
References: "The leading Brain by Friederike Fabritius and Hans W. Hagemann, PHD"